“I Want To Tell My Story… But First I Want To Overcome It”

week 42 .. or somethin’ like that

Hello there.

What a beautiful time to be alive, isn’t it? 

I can’t say I’m always as put together as I make it seem.. — TRUTH BOMB, I’m not really put together at all at the moment. And that’s okay, I’ve learned vulnerability and humility are attractive, and encourage growth. If you sharing something makes you feel better and can help another, please do! We’re all in this together.

My faith and passion has been lightly restored today, and in the last few days to really set sail for healing and feeling, sharing and caring, for yourself! I’m slowly realizing keeping your feelings bottled inside can do WAY more harm than good, especially since I myself am such a vocal person, keeping this to myself is not the plan, nor gunna free me of my pain. 

——

Since August 2017, I have been receiving IV treatments at a wonderful wellness center in Cherry Hill, NJ. I frequent this center due to an ongoing health issue, that apparently I am put on this Earth to NIP IN THE BUTT, and I suppose share with ya’ll how I been doin it. Hey Now.

For 12 years I have known to have Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, Lupus for short, an “auto-immune” condition where your ‘body attacks itself’, or so I’ve been led to believe. And no-one is at fault, this has been concluded with the most updated information and symptoms for what has been available to date. 

After seeing multiple specialists year after year and not agreeing with a consistent medication for the rest of my life because I’m just shy 30 and I have my whole life ahead of me.

I chose to seek out alternative medicine. 

Doing so through Intravenous treatment (IV), supplementation & nutrition.

Oh and recently much more belief, because if ya don’t have that will anything else REALLY work?? Be – Live. k, i get it now. 

I’ve posted snippets of my time there publicly, but after some continuous questions it’s easier to share as a whole ❤ THANKS FOR THE PUSH ❤ 

The treatment I have been receiving is Major Autohemotherapy (MAH) or Ozone Therapy (blood spinning) followed by a ‘Meyers Cocktail’ consisting of – Vitamin C, B, A, Magnesium & Folic Acid, and maybe some minerals? You can google both of these. 

In short, (gunna get a little PG graphic-ish)  MAH is oxygenizing your blood by first extracting it from your vein, then mixing it with medical grade oxygen & drip drip-ing it back into your body. 

When the blood is oxygenated this “supercharges” your immune system, which bad cells like cancer, microbial infection and chronic inflammation and the like cannot survive in this environment. AWESOME. I’m in! I’ve read a lot of professional baseball players do this as well. 🙂 

Following, The Meyers Cocktail is also through an IV, in total this treatment took aboutttt 45 mins – an hour. Not too shabby. 

 

Recently, after continuous long and hard research of WHY WHAT HOW, yes remembering to breathe — breathe more — like there’s gotta be something I’m missing… I was actually recommended to seek out a blessed individual calling himself the Medical Medium.

Anthony William (MM) who has opened my eyes, heart, and mind .. is also replenishing my hydrochloric acid in my stomach with CELERY JUICE, yes celery ( an entire post on this in the future, promise ) has some newer ‘extraordinary accurate’ information. This #1 New York Times best-seller has just released his fourth book revolving around his story, life-changing foods and thyroid and liver healing. *If you have anything auto-immune, I cannot stress enough how you should do your own research on him.*  I know I’m no doctor.. and neither is he actually, but when I began to cross reference this information, things started to shine a new light. A lively light to say the least. 

Like I said, I know I’m no doctor; I am 100% a patient, now just being a patient patient. It’s my body and the experience is first hand. So I might know a litttttttle bit. Anywho, on a specific date in March, I did a little partying and after waking up feeling WORSE THAN EVER, like a wire was snipped, a switched flipped, something totally changed. 

After reading all about Medical Medium, I had a hunch I could have reactivated EBV. Epstein-Barr Virus, a viral infection present in 90% of the population without symptoms, but when it elevates to different stages aka starts raging inside of you at stage 3-4, is a claimed underlying cause of MANY auto-immune conditions. (yes I got this information from his books, no its not really far fetched) Stage 2 is Mononucleosis, another bed-ridden fatigued infection that if you’ve ever had it you KNOW it throws you on your ass. 

With this new found information and bringing it to my doctors attention, we tested me for EBV, and sure as shit… I was correct. WHAT A FEEEEEEEEEELING <<< in more ways than one.

So the last 6-8 weeks my treatment has changed from the Meyer’s Cocktail to a big ol bag of VITAMIN C baby, the biggest bag I’ve seen. Okay lie. But its large and in charge and now takes an hour and a half ALONE to go drip drip. 

With the combination of the IV treatments, suppliments and nutrition information from MM and a licensed nutritionist I have new found hope that this can allllllllllllllllllllllllll beeeeeee heeeallleddddddddddd. Amen, Praise God, Glory UP. No lie tho.

As much as I wanted to tell this story as I’ve beaten it and its all behind me, right now it is staring me in the face like HEY WHATS UP CAIT, u gunna share with the class???!!! 

Roll call ……….. “CAITLIN?”       P    R    E     S     E     N     T 

I hope this gives anyone out there hope that things can and will get better, and if there are any questions about the center, treatments, medical medium etc.. please don’t hesitate.

Thanks for reading!

persistence

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Do You Inspire You?

What fuels your fire?  What is it that turns that ‘some day’ idea into a right NOW manifesto? What do you ZOOM in on looking through the lenses of life?

I ask this because I FINALLY realize that you don’t *really* have anything to lose, more so everything to gain, and should just go for it, whatever that may be.

You are the creator of your experience.

— JUMP BABY, JUMP!

You can watch all the podcasts, listen to the right people, take all the best notes, go to the greatest school, and literally be a trust fund baby…(not I) and still wind up not happy or not in a state of flow and abundance.

REALITY CHECK : Boss up & change ya life.

I found myself getting caught up in my own head — suffering from analysis paralysis as friend mentioned.. causing me to do nothing but make excuses. Gross. Not who I am.

I felt as if I needed to be better, do better, have accomplished MORE before I could begin. WHAT? …as I write that now I do see how crazy that sounds , and you do too – so lets learn a bit from the semi self sabotage I’ve caused myself & do not wish to continue 🙂

You can either make decisions or excuses. 

Once you DECIDE on something, the universe conspires to make it so. Good OR bad.
Be mindful of what you’re telling yourself. If you say you can, you can! If you say you can’t, well… don’t do that. It’s crazy how much power our self talk has over us, so much that whatever we tell ourselves is what we attract!

I encourage you to encourage yourself, be your own cheerleader.
* Try not to get that confused with self absorbed, I’m talking more so self aware.*

A thought leader of Generations XYZ and the next, Gary Vaynerchuck mentions in multiple podcasts, on how important it is to be self aware.

If you know who you are, you’re ahead of the game.
If you don’t, well, I’d highly advise looking deeper into your S O U L.

Some questions to ask yourself to get those creative juices flowing :

  1. What are you good at?
  2. What makes you happy?
  3. What do people call on YOU for?
  4. DO YOU INSPIRE YOU?

 

 

There’s a multitude of things that give you your YOUness. Embrace them!

In short,
The journey of life is the best part, there really is no ‘destination’. We all just want to love and be loved. First, we must start with ourselves. So while trekking along, do you fuel your own fire? I hope so. It’s human nature to seek growth and change, & the self discovery along the way, that’s the real prize.

Judgement DAZE

Ever find yourself saying.. “I wish I had more time!” ? I’m sure we’ve all said this at least once in our scrolling, wannabe instafamous lives. But with the standard 24 hours a day how is it that some people are able to accomplish more than others?

Some are traveling around the world, chasing sunsets and throwing a filter on all things fabulous.  And others are just.. watching, or sleeping (which is apparently the cousin of death says MANY) sitting behind the scenes, on the couch with their feet up after a long hustle of what seems 9-9 now.

The cost of living isn’t getting lower any time soon, and there are some with a LOT less than you have.. so before we go all WOE IS ME (talkin’ to myself here)— Take a second and be grateful for what it is you DO have.

Be grateful for what you have, while working towards what you want.

I’ve heard lots of great things about keeping a gratitude journal. SO much that I have decided to keep one of my own.

IMG_9881– got this one as a gift 🙂 #grateful

There’s something about putting pen to paper, that really makes the magic happen. Some of the best business leaders, designers, entrepreneurs, and inventors have always advised, work from paper.
You can read more about that magic here.

On the contrary, as member of GenY and *slighty* addicted to the microwave mentality of INSTANT gratification (on the gram, the book, the bird, or the ghost)  we might find ourselves passing judgement comparing our ‘right now’ to other’s ‘bests’.

#guilty

WARNING : DO NOT DO THIS  🙂

Comparison is the thief of joy. – Theodore Rosevelt

If you’re not on an island with doses (of love) and mimosas, wearing couture and reading Cosmo… it’s all good in the hood.

Sometimes we can get caught up in whatever everyone else is doing, and we may neglect the one who matters most – ourselves! Like our teachers may have said, ‘EYES ON YOUR OWN PAPER.’

Just take a minute, relax, and just.. breathe.

I refer to social media as the drug of the 21st century, definitely read that somewhere, or heard it..maybe in an audio, so that’s my credit where credit is due.                     Call it a catch 22, can’t live with it, can’t live without it.

I mean OF COURSE you can live without it, but how would I promote this blog post without taking an Instagram, uploading it to Facebook, linking it to my Twitter, and posting to Snapchat. #2o16 HELLO.

So while we can all be our own biggest critic OR catalyst for change, there’s no better time than A NEW YEAR, and every day after that to really plan and perform. Start where you are, with what you have. Slow down to speed up. Bring the importance into focus and cut the shit. All while appreciating day in & out all the wonderful things you are blessed with.

Make 2016 your best year ever, judgements aside.

xO

P.S.A. : ‘EY BAE BAE

Everyone loves a juicy heartfelt drama filled story right?
Awesome. This one’s gonna be a bit personal. 🙂

As I’m learning, we’re all creatures of emotion composed of feelings, heart, breath and the list goes on… Recently, I’ve been focusing on mastering my energy and learning how to cultivate my powers to best work in mine and others benefits.

With the latest graduate posts and BIG congratulations to all, I thought I’d share some ah-ha & ha-ha moments compiled mainly of insight and a twist of earlier adolescence.

So let’s start with the recently popular slag of bae. No, not bacon and eggs, or what ‘babe’ as a significant other has now been shortened to, close! Rather my own, personal, raw 2015 definition of bae, and it’s an acronym : (i looovee acroyms)


Bachelors Aren’t Everything


Sit tight, I’ll explain :

As a hustler since day one with a go-getter, my way or the highway, attitude, I’ve always looked for shortcuts and ways to beat the system.(sorry Mom) After earlier trials and tribulations I felt as if I was finally in the right place, right time, with the right people.

Hello College & Helloooooooo MANhattan.

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Living in the city that never sleeps as a fashion student, you’d think I had it all (definitely did, just wasn’t grateful) : the school, great friends, apartment, a dude, path of enlightenment, you could say I was very well off.

Every outside circumstance was on point except, I was lacking a crystal clear vision of my OWN personal goals and chief aim of what I wanted for me, & not us*

cue Beyoncé : DRRRRRUUNNNNKKKKK & INNNNN LOOOOOOOOVVVEEEEEE

That ish will make you do some crazy things.
But hold that thought, we’ll get there…

FIRST >>>>>>>>>

I’M GOING TO SMACK YOU IN THE FACE WITH SOME REALNESS:
YOU DO NOT NEED BE VALIDATED BY ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO DETERMINE YOUR SELF WORTH.

Read that, every single day. You are who you are because of you, and no one else is just quite like you. Embrace your weirdness and dig deep to find your true purpose in this world.

Don’t rush things, BUT keep it movin’…

What I did know for sure: I was going to complete my Bachelors degree AND hope to progress towards ‘the next step’ in my relationship in this world built for two. I can fast forward and tell you what happened: I did get the degree, two actually… and one is from the school of hard knocks.

In comparison to what once was the most sought after accomplishment and documentation in order to be successful in our own & most parents eyes… a Bachelors Degree. To … the Degree of the Bachelors.

WARNING:  THESE ARE NOT THE SAME.
(And frankly, I’m not sure which one comes with less of a headache)

We have:

A Bachelors Degree: a certificate of completion of studies and in a specific, hopefully desired field, basically your blood sweat and tears on a piece of paper, with a hefty price tag * like I said, I DID IT & PROUD OF IT, all in 5 years and 4 schools, – wasn’t easy & after the fact I can surely say it’s not for everyone…… nor is the fact that currently with student loan debt my net worth is in the negatives..(that topic earns its own post)
THANKS FOR THAT STARTUP COLLEGE!

VS.

A Degree of the Bachelors: learned experience of what not to do from a few not-so-successful relationships from ages 14-24, how the feeling of love should truly begin with yourself, and how you really DO NOT need a counterpart to validate your self-worth, but when absolutely true, pure and honest, I’m sure it really is wonderful.

Disclaimer : I watch a lot of Sex & the City (forever trying to live that dream) and Carrie Bradshaw was/is someone I’ve idolized, I mean c’mon we even have the same initials, CB up in here.

Face it, we all to make ourselves and families proud, and be able to provide for our families to come, right? However, a bachelors degree has definitely lost weight in credibility in-turn birthing of the big blue elephant in the room of student loans. When’s THAT bubble going to pop?

In short,  A Bachelors Degree is an amazing accomplishment, and you should be very proud if you have one. Just be aware that in 2015 with the advances in technology, current events, and who you listen to, it isn’t everything you need to be successful.

AND always trust love, just one more time. There are 7 Billion people in this world, and if you’re a lovesick puppy thinking why doesn’t anyone love me? DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? Really, do you? Because I’ll tell you right now, if you do not have a honest and wholesome relationship with who you look at in the mirror every day, who on Earth is going to love you? Besides maybe a puppy.

While we all search for that special someone we can possibly get so lost and in-turn should find ourselves. People come and go, but the only one you’re constantly going to sleep with every night is yourself, shouldn’t that be your best relationship?

‘As a man thinketh, in his heart.. so is he’  Proverbs 23:7

Whatever you hold in your heart and your mind will manifest in plain sight, keep those thinking caps tied tight.

& incase you were wondering about the title : PSA stands for public service announcement & ‘ey bae bae’ is a twist on “hey baby” .. I think it flows ..  🙂

ciao *

roleMODEL MAYHEM

Whom do you listen to?
Whom do you look up to?
Who are some of your role-models?

2015… what Instagram accounts can you not live without? 🙂

I’m finding it incredible, with ultimate change & growth, the possibilities that can forever bloom when you harvest life with seeds of optimism and opportunity.

WHAT?  … basically : ‘Garbage in, garbage out’ … meaning, the quality of the output is determined by the quality of the input.

As a society addicted to CNN (constant negative news) we’re slightly bias and sometimes more partial to the ideas of ‘lack’ and loss, instead of being overzealous with love & longevity.

Well………… Flip the switch, it’s a blessed 3rd rock from the sun we live on, so let us spin in abundance.

“What is life?” Life is you.

You are in the driver seat, put the petal to the medal and pack your vehicle with those on the same mission. You are a product of your environment, and the company you keep.


Taking my own advice has me sitting here wishing, writing & manifesting on this fashion, fitness & lifestyle blog, a forever work-in-progress.

TO keep on modeling trend — on a photo shoot over the weekend,  my photographer friend Ashley, gal pal Emily, and myself collaborated together to see what we could accomplish. I’ve been improv shooting with Ashley a few different times half to build her portfolio, and half to get my ideas of a styling business off the ground. 
Team work makes the dream work.

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These are just silly shots I took with Snapchat (I’m tellin’ you, great quality point & shoot selfies on that app, good job Evan Spiegel)

When not being able to look at yourself, posing in front of a camera is a bit more challenging than one might think. So as I muster up the heart and belief that I’ve got what it takes (with lots and lots of practice)
Here’s some shots we did get :

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OVERALL : SO. MUCH. FUN.
That’s what really counts, right?

B e l i e v e   y o u   h a v e   i t   &   y  o u   h a v e   i t .

To view the complete shoot you can check out Ashley’s Facebook page, here.

xO